


Lie Low At Lupin's

by Crazy_panda_25



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Azkaban, Grief, Hurt/Comfort, Lie Low At Lupin's, M/M, Sadness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-04
Updated: 2017-02-04
Packaged: 2018-09-22 01:23:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9575630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crazy_panda_25/pseuds/Crazy_panda_25
Summary: Remus and Sirius talk after Dumbledore tells Sirius to 'Lie low at Lupin's'





	

It has been a week since Dumbledore told Sirius to 'lie low at Lupin's". To say it was awkward would be an understatement. The two, who use to be so comfortable in each other's company, walked on egg shells round each other. Sirius wanted so much to just touch Remus, to hug him but he doesn't dare to, feeling like it wouldn't be right, not anymore.

"Sleep well?" Remus asks, making Sirius look up from staring at his now cold tea.

"Yeah, yeah," Sirius answers, softly. That was a lie, he hadn't slept more then a few hours all week but he didn't want Remus to worry about him.

"You always were a rubbish liar," Remus says, a small smile on his face.

"Only to you," Sirius answers, quietly.

Remus smiles, "I know." There was a short silence, "do you want any breakfast?"

"Not hungry," Sirius says, downing his cold tea.

"You need to eat, Sirius," Remus says, softly.

"I've eaten more in a week then I have in twelve years, Remus," Sirius snaps, his words sounding harsher then he intended, "Sorry, sorry I'm just...sorry."

"Stop apologising," Remus says, sitting down next to him.

"Sorry...I mean okay," Sirius says, making Remus chuckle.

"You're an idiot," Remus says, brushing some of Sirius' long hair out of his face with his hand.

Years earlier Sirius would have answered with 'I'm your idiot ' but Sirius wasn't Remus' anything, not anymore maybe not ever again.

"My idiot though," Remus continues, making Sirius look up quickly.

"I'm sorry," Sirius says, quietly, "I'm so sorry."

"Hey, you've nothing to be sorry for," Remus says, cupping Sirius' hollow cheek with his hand.

"I should have trusted you, I loved you and I should have trusted you," Sirius says, wiping his eyes as tears begin to build in them.

They hadn't talked about what had happened at the shrieking shack at a since Sirius got there. Remus' breath hitches. He doesn't know whether it is Sirius words that has shocked him or the fact that Sirius was crying. He'd only ever seen him cry twice before.

"I trusted Peter, PETER, the person that I knew liked to follow powerful people. I should have known," the words had a mixture of anger and pain in them as Sirius rubs at his eyes violently.

"You weren't to know he was capable of that," Remus answers, trying to keep his own tears back, "he was one of us, a marauder. I spent twelve years thinking he was brave enough to confront the person who was responsible for James and Lily's death but I was wrong. He tricked us all."

"I couldn't even kill him, Remus. I confronted him and I hesitated, I was so angry but...I just couldn't. Then before I knew what was happening he'd shouted that I'd killed the Potters and... I couldn't do anything those muggles were dead...I just laughed," Sirius says, the pain in Sirius voice breaking Remus' heart.

"I spent years thinking you though it was funny, that killing all those innocent people was funny to you," Remus answers, sighing, "looking back now I don't get how I even thought that for a second. You hated your family with a passion because of all that stuff."

"It's hard to argue with solid evidence though. For all everyone knew I was J-James and Lily's secret keeper and people heard Peter saying I was guilty," Sirius says, shaking his head.

"Why did you change? Why weren't you their secret keeper in the end?" Remus asks, softly.

"James hated the idea, said it was suicidal. I hoped that if...if Voldemort thought I was the secret keeper he'd come after me. He wouldn't have even a single hope of getting the secret as I couldn't share it. James, Lily, Harry, Peter...you. You'd all be safe or as safe as I could possibly make you...that's what I though anyway," Sirius says, hoarsely.

"Oh Sirius," Remus mutters, pulling the other man into a tight hug.

Sirius and Remus relax into the hug salvaging the comfort from each other's bodies. Closing his eyes, Remus pulls Sirius' thin boney frame even closer when he hears Sirius quiet sobbing. The realisation suddenly hit him. After James and Lily's death he had been able to grieve peacefully and people had offered their condolences to him. What had Sirius had? While he had the good memories to focus on, all Sirius had was his bad ones. Sirius had never been given the chance to grieve for his best friends' deaths, he had been thrown into Azkaban without so much as a trial. Within a few short hours, Sirius' life had been ripped apart completely. James was death. Lily was dead. Harry had been taken away from him. Peter was dead and Remus thought he was guilty on top of all of it.

"I failed you know," Remus whispers, quietly.

"What?" Sirius answers, pulling away from the hug slightly to look at Remus.

"I spent twelve years convincing myself I hated you," Remus says, resting his forehead against Sirius', "but I still love you so, so much," Remus leans in and kisses him softly.

"I love you too," Sirius breaths, a small smile on his lips, "never stopped."

They spend about half an hour just sitting there holding each other. Both of them lost in thought about the other.

"Do you remember James' reaction when we told him we were together?" Remus asks, eventually.

" 'About bloody time too, you two have been acting like a bloody couple for months now and have only just realised it,' " Sirius says, smiling, "then he just got up and went to woo Lily saying that if we'd finally realised our feelings then surely Lily has too."

"I remember you being so worried about telling him because you thought he'd hate you," Remus says, chuckling.

"Whenever I imagined telling him I was bi and going out with you, I never thought he would pretty much say he already knew and walk off," Sirius says, biting his lip.

"That was James though, always full of surprises," Remus says, smiling.

Sirius smiles, looking down at his hands, "what do you think he'd say if he could see us now?"

"Probably 'shut up and kiss already' knowing Prongs," Remus says, chuckling.

"Yeah," Sirius agrees, nodding.

 

 


End file.
